With the Yankees and Red Sox seemingly at an impasse with the Twins, the Mets are desperately trying to hone in on the Johan Santana trade action.
Unfortunately, GM Bill Smith has yet to hear any of Met GM Omar Minaya's trade proposals due to the nonstop laughter emanating from the direction of Smith and the Twins' executive leadership.
"We have some pretty good prospects. We have the players," Minaya was quoted as saying.
"Oh that Omar, what a card!" Bill Smith semi-blurted out while trying to catch his breath in between fits of uproarious laughter. "At first he reminded me of a little kid at Thanksgiving trying to sit at the grown-up table, but then I realized he was serious! Mike Pelfrey, Phil Humber and Carlos Gomez for Johan freaking Santana? That's some good shit! Judd Apatow, watch your back!"
Next to Smith was Twins Vice President of Player Personnel Mike Radcliff, doubled over on the floor and clutching his stomach.
"I know Omar's been dying to make a big splash, but his trade proposals have consistently been more entertaining than The Office -- especially those terrible hour-long episodes earlier this season," Radcliff chortled. "From the bottom of the Twins organization's collective hearts, we truly thank Omar Minaya for a gift that keeps on giving this holiday season."
Even hated rivals the Red Sox and Yankees were enjoying Minaya's unintentional Christmas present.
"It's adorable when a National League team tries to play with the big boys," said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. "It's kind of similar to that fat friend that every group has who you only let hang around because he has all the latest video games."
Added Yankee GM Brian Cashman, clad in a Phil Hughes #65 replica Yankee jersey, "I love Omar, but self-delusion is cruel. I mean, who do the Mets even have? Jose Reyes and David Wright could arguably start on my team, but everyone else on the Mets? Let's just say I'd rather field an entire starting nine of Enrique Wilsons anchored by a rotation featuring Pascual and Melido Perez."